"Don't eat the seeds"

I was out farming yesterday, which is technically what Peace Corps assumes I do everyday as an agroforesty volunteer, but my actual job has turned out to be a bit different as most of you know. Back to the farming, the women's group I work with decided to create a community farm and as a quasi member, I too committed to working the land with them. Most of the women walked three miles just to get to the farm, but to the delight of the local kids I cheated and rode my bike. As an aside, being a "woman" and knowing how to ride a bike gives me a certain notoriety and people literally cheer for me when I ride by.

Once at the farm, I was put to work under the supervision of a more experienced lady farmer to plant plantain stalks. I started out as a ho wielder; sweating profusely I began digging holes in the red dirt. Apparently my skills were lacking as a digger, so I was demoted to planter, at which point I was secretly relieved because my back and arms were already sore after like four holes. I might be exaggerating, but I am pretty sure my two-woman team planted at least fifty plantain stalks. By the end my fingers were cut up, there were dead flies (squished by yours truly) on my arms, and I had a hint of acid in my throat.

As a late riser by nature, I had left the house minutes after the work at the farm was scheduled to begin without breakfast. Generally Cameroon time runs 30 minutes to 2 hours behind the hour, so I figured I was fine and could grab some food upon my return, but by ten o'clock at the farm, I was famished. Luckily my friend/supervisor showed me some wild rainforest fruit that's "edible". The fruit was shaped like a pepper with a bright vermilion peal, the exact color children are warned about in the States. "If you see some bright red berries in the forest or some orange mushrooms, don't eat them because they're probably poisonous", said my mother, teachers, and other knowing adults. My friend first ate one herself, carefully pealing back the outer layer to reveal some seeds in a milky white substance not unlike passion fruit. When she didn't drop dead on the spot or begin frothing at the mouth, I decided to eat one too.

The preliminary taste was sour, but not unpleasantly so and the texture was only slightly off-putting. Then I crunched down on the seeds. My mouth was filled with a sharp bitter taste compounded by increasing sourness, it was like eating a Jagermeister soaked lime. I tried not to make a face, I even managed to say "mmmm, good". Finally, when all my taste buds began firing at once screaming this is not good, get this sh*t out of your mouth, I succumbed and spit it out. I experienced acid reflux and was expecting one of two things to occur at any moment: either my mouth to go completely numb or to start vomiting. The thought that perhaps I would die, also briefly flashed into my mind. My friend looked at the chewed up seeds lying on the ground, then looked at my embarrassed face and said matter-a-factly "you're not supposed to eat the seeds".

So I didn't end up vomiting after all and Matt was never told that his wife "ate poisonous fruit in the forest which caused her untimely death". I even briefly thought of offering Matt the fruit to see his reaction, but then again, I'm not quite that mean.